I'd finished the matinee
Attended my karate instruction between shows
A street fighting course
I started to feel unwell
and realized
I was coming down with something
Feeling ill I approached Malin, my stage manager
"I'm not sure I can do it."
Meaning the night show
He looked at me and said, "We got you covered. Go home."
So I trudge my way back to Port Authority
Weary
Off
As I cross 45th I have a clear walk signal
So I walk and a taxi slams on its' brakes nearly hitting me
I'm like "Damn dude! I've got the right of way here!"
I'm filled with righteous indignation
So in a Dustin Hoffman moment I kick at his bumper with my boot
"I'm walking here!"
I barely tap it by the way
Just a flick of my boot
But I do touch his bumper
The door flies open and the cabby jumps out
I was not expecting this
But you know, It's New York
He comes running at me
Right in the middle of 8th and 45th
He comes
Well, I just came from Karate class
I drop in stance
Wait till he is in range
And strike
Heel palm
It's meant to be a stunning blow
Not really causing damage
But stunning
I have power
And it lands
Right on the cheek where it is intended
He staggers back
But then I get mad
And I want to hurt him
That's adrenaline
I step forward and
See a Times Square cop on the corner talking into his radio
I drop my hands take a breath and walk calmly over
Rapidly a half dozen officers come running to the scene
Apparently the Times Square rent-a-cop gave the wrong code over the system
He called the number for "Officer Down!"
They came at me hard and fast
It was scary but I stood there calmly
It was discovered that the light on 45th and 8th was broken
It was showing a clear walk signal to pedestrians and green to drivers
Intersecting
We were both filled with righteous indignation
And wrong
I tell my side of the story
The cab is sitting there mid-way through the cross-walk
Door wide open
The Sergeant looks me sternly in the eye and says,
"Apologize."
"I'm sorry," I say without hesitation
"Go home," he says.
"But he hit me!," says the cabby
"Go," says the cop
And I'm gone
I know how this sounds but without those cops
That guy would have been done
I would have hit him again
The second time would not have been a stunning blow
I was sure I was right
Turns out we both were
and wrong at the same time
This is a lesson
A Karate lesson
It's best to avoid confrontation
And righteous indignation serves no one
Tuesday, April 30, 2019
Sunday, April 21, 2019
BREAKFAST CLUB
I had a tuxedo.
It was requirement for choir.
So when I got asked to go to a formal event in college by a nice girl.
"Yes, I'll go." was easy.
For the record most of these were really fun and pretty innocent.
Pictures were taken
Goofy awkward dancing happened.
That sort of thing.
I remember one event.
It was a formal.
They rented rooms in a Seattle hotel.
It was nice.
It was fun.
We had a good old fashioned 1990 party.
My date was a casual friend.
There was no romance but it was a good time.
We danced.
We drank.
Lots of laughter.
I wake up in a fancy hotel room with a bunch of people crashed all over the bed and floor.
There is a dude in a blue blazer sipping on a beer in a chair across the room.
"You want one?" he asks.
"Sure."
I'm still dressed in full tuxedo.
Though the flower is wilted on my jacket.
We have a couple beers when I realize I have an event I have to attend in 15 minutes.
There was a lesson on comportment at the Nordstrom on the Ave for...
The Mr. Greek Competition!
I get there but I'm late.
The only open seat is in the middle
Of the middle.
Smack dab in the middle.
So I slide along saying, " excuse me, excuse me." all the while till I reach the middle of the middle.
I reek and my corsage is a dead joke.
But I sit down to learn about comportment.
After about five minutes I start to feel unwell.
The room tilts a bit.
And I am forced to get up and excuse myself.
"Excuse me. Excuse me," I say shuffling my way out.
Missed the lesson on comportment.
Won the competition.
It was requirement for choir.
So when I got asked to go to a formal event in college by a nice girl.
"Yes, I'll go." was easy.
For the record most of these were really fun and pretty innocent.
Pictures were taken
Goofy awkward dancing happened.
That sort of thing.
I remember one event.
It was a formal.
They rented rooms in a Seattle hotel.
It was nice.
It was fun.
We had a good old fashioned 1990 party.
My date was a casual friend.
There was no romance but it was a good time.
We danced.
We drank.
Lots of laughter.
I wake up in a fancy hotel room with a bunch of people crashed all over the bed and floor.
There is a dude in a blue blazer sipping on a beer in a chair across the room.
"You want one?" he asks.
"Sure."
I'm still dressed in full tuxedo.
Though the flower is wilted on my jacket.
We have a couple beers when I realize I have an event I have to attend in 15 minutes.
There was a lesson on comportment at the Nordstrom on the Ave for...
The Mr. Greek Competition!
I get there but I'm late.
The only open seat is in the middle
Of the middle.
Smack dab in the middle.
So I slide along saying, " excuse me, excuse me." all the while till I reach the middle of the middle.
I reek and my corsage is a dead joke.
But I sit down to learn about comportment.
After about five minutes I start to feel unwell.
The room tilts a bit.
And I am forced to get up and excuse myself.
"Excuse me. Excuse me," I say shuffling my way out.
Missed the lesson on comportment.
Won the competition.
Friday, April 19, 2019
PROBLEM SOLVED
The moment after I was hired for the tour of Les Miserables I walked out of the audition room and right to a pay phone mounted on the wall.
This was before cell phones. Well, they existed but were the size of a brick and expensive as heck. So I drop some quarters into the phone and call the theater where I am hired to do a show in the summer. It's an equity gig though I'm non-union.
I did sign the contract.
In the audition room when I explained this to Richard he said, "Don't worry about it. They'll let you out for a Production Contract."
So I tell them, "I booked Les Mis. I can't do the show.," and didn't worry about it.
I went back home to Seattle and waited to hear when I was called to work.
Contracts were being drawn up.
But I still didn't have a firm starting date when my phone rang one day.
It was the director of the show in Seattle.
"You failed to give us two weeks notice in writing," he says.
"I called you six weeks ago!"
"You failed to give us notice in writing. It's a requirement in the Equity handbook."
"I'm not Equity," I say
"You signed an Equity contract. You owe us two weeks salary for breaking your contract."
I was broke.
Hadn't even seen my Les Miserables contract yet.
"I don't have a $1000 dollars! Wait, what is that money for?"
"It's to compensate for extra auditions," he responds dryly.
I happened to know who they hired.
It was a friend.
Bob.
I know they just went, "Well they were equally matched we'll go with Bob."
There were no extra auditions.
So I start to get mad.
This theater which was floundering was trying to squeeze a grand out of a 26 year old actor on a technicality.
It was gross.
I get angry.
Then a thought comes across my brain.
"You know," I say, "I haven't signed my Les Mis contract yet. I don't even know when's my starting day. Hmmmm what is the first day of rehearsal? I can make it. Is Bob under contract? Oh, then you'd have to pay both of us. I probably won't be able to make opening night but if I get that written notice to you by tomorrow we're good right?"
There is a LONG pause on the other end of the line.
"I don't think there is a need for that."
Problem solved!
This was before cell phones. Well, they existed but were the size of a brick and expensive as heck. So I drop some quarters into the phone and call the theater where I am hired to do a show in the summer. It's an equity gig though I'm non-union.
I did sign the contract.
In the audition room when I explained this to Richard he said, "Don't worry about it. They'll let you out for a Production Contract."
So I tell them, "I booked Les Mis. I can't do the show.," and didn't worry about it.
I went back home to Seattle and waited to hear when I was called to work.
Contracts were being drawn up.
But I still didn't have a firm starting date when my phone rang one day.
It was the director of the show in Seattle.
"You failed to give us two weeks notice in writing," he says.
"I called you six weeks ago!"
"You failed to give us notice in writing. It's a requirement in the Equity handbook."
"I'm not Equity," I say
"You signed an Equity contract. You owe us two weeks salary for breaking your contract."
I was broke.
Hadn't even seen my Les Miserables contract yet.
"I don't have a $1000 dollars! Wait, what is that money for?"
"It's to compensate for extra auditions," he responds dryly.
I happened to know who they hired.
It was a friend.
Bob.
I know they just went, "Well they were equally matched we'll go with Bob."
There were no extra auditions.
So I start to get mad.
This theater which was floundering was trying to squeeze a grand out of a 26 year old actor on a technicality.
It was gross.
I get angry.
Then a thought comes across my brain.
"You know," I say, "I haven't signed my Les Mis contract yet. I don't even know when's my starting day. Hmmmm what is the first day of rehearsal? I can make it. Is Bob under contract? Oh, then you'd have to pay both of us. I probably won't be able to make opening night but if I get that written notice to you by tomorrow we're good right?"
There is a LONG pause on the other end of the line.
"I don't think there is a need for that."
Problem solved!
Monday, April 15, 2019
LAURIE
We were playing Philadelphia
Rob was on vacation so I was bumped up to Jean Valjean
They hired a local star
She was amazing
But
She was dying
Cancer
She knew it
We all knew it
Laurie Beechman
Was astounding
After singing her death scene
I'd pick her up
Cradle her back to bed
It's a profound memory
Laying her down
Watching her die
While she was dying
She was beautiful
Frail
and
Powerful
She was
Fantine
Rob was on vacation so I was bumped up to Jean Valjean
They hired a local star
She was amazing
But
She was dying
Cancer
She knew it
We all knew it
Laurie Beechman
Was astounding
After singing her death scene
I'd pick her up
Cradle her back to bed
It's a profound memory
Laying her down
Watching her die
While she was dying
She was beautiful
Frail
and
Powerful
She was
Fantine
Sunday, April 14, 2019
THIS IS A STORY MY MOM TOLD ME TODAY
Jesus Christ Superstar, Village Theatre
1993
Mom, "I was proud seeing you up there."
"Not trying to brag or anything but I let it be known to the people sitting around me that YOU were my son."
"Playing Jesus"
"You lost twenty pounds to play that role!"
"Thirty," I say
"You were skin and bones. You could see your ribs," she says
"You were on the cross. The Crucifixion and you called out,
"WHO IS MY MOTHER? WHERE IS MY MOTHER?"
"And the ten year old sitting in front of me turns around points and says SHE'S RIGHT HERE!"
Wednesday, April 10, 2019
THE WALKMAN
I was working for Component Products
My Dad's machine shop
And going to college
Only a day here or there
The work was
Repetitive
Making the same part
Over
And over
And over again
But I could listen to my Walkman
In college I was taking three English courses
Ancient English
17th Century Poetry
And
The Victorian Novel
Let's just say
I was in over my head
Just a bit
So I made a tape of me reading 2 hours worth of poems
And that's what I listened to
On my Walkman
While I worked
Making the same part
Over
And over again
For weeks
She walks in beauty
Like the night
Of cloudless climes
And starry skies
and
In the rooms the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo
and
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds
and
Like gold to airy thinness beat
AND
Had we but world enough and time
This coyness lady were no crime
I listened to them
Every time I worked
Two hours of poetry
Once or twice a week
I'm still struggling in class though
It's a lot
Completely skipped Middlemarch
Read the Cliff Notes
It is 904 pages long
So
Yeah
Ancient English
Learned a lot
Never would have taken it
But back then
You had to sign up for class
By phone
Starting at 7am
That didn't work for me
So I got the classes I got
But Ancient English
Was COOL
Really liked it but it was still hard
I was doing okay
Not great
FINAL DAY OF CLASS!
There is a Teacher's Assistant in charge
It's basically a do nothing day
All the work has been turned in
Tests taken
There is about 5 minutes of class left
So the T.A. for this Ancient English class offers a challenge
"For every quote I give and you can name the poem I will give you 1/10th of a point to your final grade. And for every quote you give me that I can't name and YOU can and it's VERIFIED I will give you a tenth of a point."
It's meant to be a fun game
A sort of Jeopardy of poetry
I was STOKED
All those hours of listening
And we're off
"Dream of the Rood!"
I answer
"Sir Gawain and the Green Knight."
I answer
"Beowulf"
I answer
Then I rip out a slew of quotes
from
John Donne
Ben Johnson
Shakespeare
TS Eliot
Lord Byron
Let's just say
I scored a lot of points that day
Ended up with a pretty decent grade
My Dad's machine shop
And going to college
Only a day here or there
The work was
Repetitive
Making the same part
Over
And over
And over again
But I could listen to my Walkman
In college I was taking three English courses
Ancient English
17th Century Poetry
And
The Victorian Novel
Let's just say
I was in over my head
Just a bit
So I made a tape of me reading 2 hours worth of poems
And that's what I listened to
On my Walkman
While I worked
Making the same part
Over
And over again
For weeks
She walks in beauty
Like the night
Of cloudless climes
And starry skies
and
In the rooms the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo
and
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds
and
Like gold to airy thinness beat
AND
Had we but world enough and time
This coyness lady were no crime
I listened to them
Every time I worked
Two hours of poetry
Once or twice a week
I'm still struggling in class though
It's a lot
Completely skipped Middlemarch
Read the Cliff Notes
It is 904 pages long
So
Yeah
Ancient English
Learned a lot
Never would have taken it
But back then
You had to sign up for class
By phone
Starting at 7am
That didn't work for me
So I got the classes I got
But Ancient English
Was COOL
Really liked it but it was still hard
I was doing okay
Not great
FINAL DAY OF CLASS!
There is a Teacher's Assistant in charge
It's basically a do nothing day
All the work has been turned in
Tests taken
There is about 5 minutes of class left
So the T.A. for this Ancient English class offers a challenge
"For every quote I give and you can name the poem I will give you 1/10th of a point to your final grade. And for every quote you give me that I can't name and YOU can and it's VERIFIED I will give you a tenth of a point."
It's meant to be a fun game
A sort of Jeopardy of poetry
I was STOKED
All those hours of listening
And we're off
"Dream of the Rood!"
I answer
"Sir Gawain and the Green Knight."
I answer
"Beowulf"
I answer
Then I rip out a slew of quotes
from
John Donne
Ben Johnson
Shakespeare
TS Eliot
Lord Byron
Let's just say
I scored a lot of points that day
Ended up with a pretty decent grade
Sunday, April 7, 2019
Showstopper
The Pirate Queen
Broadway
2007
Previews
Hilton Theater
Full audience
Show was written by the guys who did Les Mis and Saigon
I was a pirate
One scene early in the show
HERE ON THIS NIGHT
Hadley Frazier and Stephanie Block
Sang this beautiful duet
I was suspended above the stage
On the ship's spar
15 feet up
I don't like heights
Never have
But it was a special place to watch and hear this gorgeous duet
At the end of the song a battle with the English erupted
We would repel
From the spar
Pull our swords
And start our fight choreography
I can repel
Blades...I'm cool
But this day
I jump off the spar
Repel
Looking down the whole while
And my long pirate wig
Gets caught in the gear
Stopping me about 8 inches from the ground
I can't release myself
But I'm close to a cannon
Kick my legs
Stretch out for the cannon
My toe touches it
And then I swing away
Swords and battle are happening all around
I'm kicking my feet
Reaching desperately for that cannon
HOLD!
HOLD!
Blasts over the speakers
The stage
Empties
And I'm there swinging alone
2 crew guys come out
One grabs me
Suddenly my head feels cool
The other crew guy removed my wig
Revealing my wig cap and pin curls
The audience
Laughs
I'm super embarrassed
After a few minutes we restart the fight sequence
Large applause
Guess I can always say
For one day I was a showstopper on Broadway
Broadway
2007
Previews
Hilton Theater
Full audience
Show was written by the guys who did Les Mis and Saigon
I was a pirate
One scene early in the show
HERE ON THIS NIGHT
Hadley Frazier and Stephanie Block
Sang this beautiful duet
I was suspended above the stage
On the ship's spar
15 feet up
I don't like heights
Never have
But it was a special place to watch and hear this gorgeous duet
At the end of the song a battle with the English erupted
We would repel
From the spar
Pull our swords
And start our fight choreography
I can repel
Blades...I'm cool
But this day
I jump off the spar
Repel
Looking down the whole while
And my long pirate wig
Gets caught in the gear
Stopping me about 8 inches from the ground
I can't release myself
But I'm close to a cannon
Kick my legs
Stretch out for the cannon
My toe touches it
And then I swing away
Swords and battle are happening all around
I'm kicking my feet
Reaching desperately for that cannon
HOLD!
HOLD!
Blasts over the speakers
The stage
Empties
And I'm there swinging alone
2 crew guys come out
One grabs me
Suddenly my head feels cool
The other crew guy removed my wig
Revealing my wig cap and pin curls
The audience
Laughs
I'm super embarrassed
After a few minutes we restart the fight sequence
Large applause
Guess I can always say
For one day I was a showstopper on Broadway
Saturday, April 6, 2019
McDonalds
On my 16th birthday my Mom took me to McDonalds
It was my request
Big fan of the quarter pounder
We're sitting there
I'm eating my fries
And she says, "You know you're sixteen now you need to get a job."
Didn't really see that coming
I was pretty busy with jazz band and swim team
But I knew she meant it
My folks got me a car
I needed to pay for gas and insurance
Okay, I thought and walked up to the counter
"Can I get a job application?"
"One moment"
A woman approaches
"Fill this out. Are you available for an interview in 10 minutes?"
I was
I got hired right there on my sixteen birthday
I thought I would work at the register
Nope
Cook
Not sure how it works at McDonalds today
But in 1984 we actually cooked the food
On grills
In grease
They had a good system with timers to tell you when to flip the burgers
They had temperatures that were set
We had to learn all that but it was tight
Except
That those of us in the kitchen had to estimate how much to make
You'd make the cheeseburger
Slide it down the bin
Slide a number behind it
which was ten minutes from the round clock on the wall
12:58
You pick up an 8 and slide it behind the burgers
10 minutes
If it didn't sell in that time it went into a bin
To throw away
It was counted at the end of the night
It was registered
Within about 8 months
I start getting put in charge
Calling The Shots
I'm not even 17 years old
"Put down 12, 3 quarters, 2 filet of fish, 3 McChicken. NUGGETS! WE NEED NUGGETS!"
The fry guy was in charge of his station
I liked it though
There was pressure
There was work
But it did feel good as a young person to have some authority in life
What didn't feel good was sometimes getting home around 2am
Closing
Jazz band was at 6:30am
I was making $3.35 an hour
Working for gas
At that time that's about 4 gallons an hour
Not bad
Hard work though
But I DID have fun
TWO STORIES
One time a guy came in and asked for extra extra extra pickles
I took it as a challenge
I spent time layering pickle after pickle
It was the biggest pickle burger you've ever seen
I sent it down the slide
"PICKLE BURGER!"
Off it goes
A few minutes later the guy comes back
"That's the best burger I've ever eaten."
Another time a customer orders
"Filet o Fish, extra Tartar."
Well this is a little tricky
The tarter is shot from a gun
I'm not joking
You squeeze the gun
And it distributes the perfect amount
According to Ray Croc
And that makes it easy for a 17 year old chef
So, I do the first squeeze
Then a bit of the second
Just a bit
It's already a lot of tartar
A lot
Customer comes back
"I said extra tartar"
A new filet o fish come out of the oil
And I drown it
It worked for pickle guy
I can barely close the Styrofoam container
Customer is irate
"Is this some sort of joke??!!!!"
Win some you lose some
Monday, April 1, 2019
IMPERFECTION
In 2004
I had a Play Station 2
My game was MLB2k4
Baseball
No surprise
My team, The Mariners
They weren't so great
Not bad
Not great
I decided I wanted to play a perfect season
Win 162 games
Wouldn't save the games I lost
I started managing the team differently
Sometimes start the game with the closing pitcher
They do this in Major League Baseball now
Sometimes
The game taught me how to run the bases and send runners
That transitioned into my personal game in Broadway Show League
Other things I learned
Put Willie Bloomquist on the field anywhere
Always hit Alex Rodriguez with a pitch
Fastball
High and tight
It was better than walking him
Or he'd hit a home run
Plus it made me smile
I got to game 158
It's a perfect game for my pitcher
No hits
Nothing
In the bottom of the 9th they hit a home run to win the game
This is going to sound silly but I was devastated
But I couldn't delete the game
Not this one
It was too pretty even though I lost
So I saved it
And finished 161-1
Imperfection can be beautiful
I had a Play Station 2
My game was MLB2k4
Baseball
No surprise
My team, The Mariners
They weren't so great
Not bad
Not great
I decided I wanted to play a perfect season
Win 162 games
Wouldn't save the games I lost
I started managing the team differently
Sometimes start the game with the closing pitcher
They do this in Major League Baseball now
Sometimes
The game taught me how to run the bases and send runners
That transitioned into my personal game in Broadway Show League
Other things I learned
Put Willie Bloomquist on the field anywhere
Always hit Alex Rodriguez with a pitch
Fastball
High and tight
It was better than walking him
Or he'd hit a home run
Plus it made me smile
I got to game 158
It's a perfect game for my pitcher
No hits
Nothing
In the bottom of the 9th they hit a home run to win the game
This is going to sound silly but I was devastated
But I couldn't delete the game
Not this one
It was too pretty even though I lost
So I saved it
And finished 161-1
Imperfection can be beautiful
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