STAGE MANAGERS

It was opening night of Oklahoma! in Raleigh, NC 2000
I was nervous
Of course I was
It was opening night
But I kind of felt like I was supposed to play Curly
The Overture starts and it sounds amazing
I think, okay let's do this thing
We had good rehearsals
A good cast
Although Aunt Eller for the first two weeks was the  assistant stage manager Andrew
Actually really grew fond of him as Aunt Eller
As I'm about to take the stage
I think, Oh What a Beautiful Morning
I'm ready
As the orchestra starts to slow down
I realize
Oh What A Beautiful Morning
Is not how the song starts
And my brain freezes
There is a moment of panic
How does it start?
I grab the stage manager with both hands
HOW DOES IT START?
"there's a bright golden..."
And I'm on stage
"THERE'S A BRIGHT GOLDEN HAZE ON THE MEADOW"
GOD BLESS STAGE MANAGERS
OH WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MORNIN' LIVE Raleigh, NC

FIELD TRIP

My class at Lynnwood high went on a field trip
To see a movie
I was excited
The movie theater was from where I grew up
Right across from the 7-11
The Crest Theater
As a kid it's where I saw Close Encounters of the 3rd Kind
This day we are there to learn something
I sit down with my class
The lights dim
The movie starts
And I'm there
Vienna
I'm filled with emotion
When it's over
We file out into the light
The kid next to me says,
"That was so boring and long."
I thought, I want to watch it again
I want to do that
Changed my life that movie
AMADEUS
Good field trip

Golden Gardens

I was on a double date
Didn't know them
Not well anyway
I think I met my date at The Wiz
A dance club in Seattle
The other fella was nice
Good company
Tall guy
Maybe six foot five
We have a pleasant evening on the beach
Build a fire
Drink some wine coolers
Decide to head back
From out of the brush there come two scrappy guys
Looking really pissed off
Messed up too
"It was them," one shouts pointing at us
There is much confusion
Apparently they'd been robbed
"We didn't do it. Do you need some help? Should we try and get the police?"
They look a little confused
Mutter some curse words
Decide to wander off
One of the girls shouts,
"Fucking Dickheads we were just trying to help!"
This sends them into a rage
They got to be on meth or something
They whip off their t-shirts and come running back
Great, I think, just great
They go for the tall guy
He's just sort of kicking at them
Keeping them at bay
And MY rage meter hits full
Everything slows down
I hit the guy next to me with a right cross
Followed by a deep left hook
He drops
The next guy is still engaged with tall guy
He doesn't see me coming
Right cross
Left hook
Boom
He's down
They are side by side
Laying on the ground
On their backs
Shirtless
But my rage is still there
Standing over them
I bellow
"I WILL KILL YOU!!!!!!"
The sound echoes in the park
They scramble back to their brush
I turn to see
My three date-mates standing there with eyes wide open
Jaws dropped
"That's the most amazing thing I've ever seen," says my date
We had a nice rest of the evening
Not surprising it was our last

STRENGTH OF TEN

Mountain View, California
"Summer of 42" cast
In the hot tub
I make this joke about how I have the strength of 10 men
It's a thing me and my best friend from Seattle would say
Strength of 10
Finally, I say to Brett
Give me a challenge
I'll prove it
The water is swirling around
We're all drunk
He points, "Climb that tree and jump into the pool."
I climb out of the hot tub and start climbing a tree
It's a bit far away from the pool
But I climb
I get to a branch about 8 feet high and venture out
I speculate
Venture out further
Start to jump and slip
Arms pinwheel
I hit the pebbled cement
Hard
A sickening slapping meat sound
They didn't see that. They didn't see that
And roll into the water
TADA!
They jump out of the hot tub
Check on me
"Are you okay?"
"Strength of Ten," I say

Large Marge

The last bus to Bloomfield, NJ was a Decamp 33
It left promptly
at 12:45 AM
If you're not on the last bus
You don't go home
Not in 2002
Chelsea and I were out
Down in the meat packing district
Hogs and Heifers
I look at my watch
It's 12:20
Uh oh
We pay the bill
Bolt out of the place
Looking for a cab
But we don't see any
Streets are dark
Mostly deserted
We run over to another street
See a pair of headlights
It's a cab
It's empty
Thank the Lord!
We jump in
And I notice the strangest thing
The driver is an old woman
White woman
Never seen that before
"We gotta get to Port Authority by 12:40! Our bus leaves at 12:45 and it's on the 4th floor!"
"I think you should take West Side Highway," I say
She looks in the mirror and says,
"I'll get you there. But we're going my way."
And proceeds to pull a bottle of Jack Daniels from under her seat
Takes a long pull
And punches the accelerator
She cuts through alleys
Drives on streets I didn't know existed
And with screeching brakes we're there
We make it onto the bus just as the doors close
Large Marge is real y'all

Glide

I'm in the locker room before the swim meet
I'm showered
Got my goofy Speedos on
Ready for the meet to start
We used to get these break downs on who was our competition
What was their fastest time
That sort of thing
I always raced against myself
Part of the reason I loved swim team
I was done with aggressive banging up against someone sort of sports
I wanted to challenge myself
Swimming
Is hard
You can hardly breathe
It's also mental
I'd count my stokes
Try and find a rhythm
Relaxing
Gliding through the water
Not fighting it
This huge blonde kid from the other team bursts into the locker room
He's holding the meet sheet
"Which one is Stone?"
He shouts!
He shouts again!!!
"I am."
He walks up and pokes his finger in my chest
"You're going down Stone!"
When we get to the race
100 Free
He's on the blocks beside me
"Swimmers take your mark"
Bang
I'm off
I glide
Hit my flip
Dolphin kick
and I glide
and swim the rest of the race against me
When he touches the wall I am standing over his lane
Drying myself with a towel

Ketchup

We had a choir event at Disneyland
It was super exciting
I love that place
First went when I was a kid of 5
Pirates of the Caribean
Haunted Mansion
Space Mountain!
Ok I didn't like space mountain
Always thought my head was about to get wacked off
My choir went down there and it was fun
Really fun
One night we all went to Denny's (I know another Denny's story?
BTW if you're out in the wee hours
Get the caramel apple pie ala mode)
This wasn't one of those nights
I was getting something with french fries
The place was packed
Not just with my choir but possibly two others
So it takes a while for the food orders to come out
When mine comes out I'm so excited
I'm 19 years old
I reach for the Heinze bottle in front of me
I go to shake it cause, you know, no one likes that watery stuff
I shake it vigorously
Like a hungry 19 year old might
Can you see what's about to happen?
The lid is not screwed on
It's on
But not screwed on
I throw ketchup all over my face
And my white t-shirt
I am drenched
It's like a scene from Carrie
I'm mortified
Everyone looking at me
I pause a moment
Stand up
And bow to the four corners of the restaurant
Sometimes you just have to embrace the ridiculous

LEAPING

We were in Milwaukee
Saigon tour
We were told of this cool river with cliffs you could jump from
So we went
It was beautiful
I'm not real good with heights
Bad actually
But I was proud of myself when I jumped off a rock ledge of about 20 feet
I know what a high dive of a pool is
This was twice the size
But some of the cast were way up higher
They kept calling me to come up
So I did
But when I got up there my legs were quaking
It was around 65 feet
I could hardly inch to the edge
Brian and Orville said, "I love you,"
Kissed each other and leapt
It was incredible
How can I be Chris if  I'm not as brave as they are?"
So after a minute I took three big steps and launched myself
I'm pinwheeling my arms, pointing my toes and holding my breath
But the water just doesn't come
It's a long drop
I breathe out and
BAM
I'm ten feet under water
It's murky and I'm confused
I kick to the surface
Brian and Orville were laughing and swimming to shore
I'm glad to be alive
Bravery takes many forms

Rounding third

We had this drill in baseball
When I was a kid
Round third and slide into home
With the catcher blocking the plate
Well I was like, "I got this."
So I came in hard and cleets high
Boom
He's over
The catcher is the coach's son
Coach comes over and reams me out
He's right
I was wrong
I was taught a lesson
That's not how to play
But
I was safe

Carnegie Hall

It was our first rehearsal at Carnegie Hall
Full orchestra
Kristina
Written by Benny Andersson
The ABBA guy
The music is extraordinary
Rock your core kind of music
There's an accident in the Lincoln Tunnel
My bus just sits there
For over an hour
My first rehearsal at Carnegie Hall
But I'd built a lot of time into my commute
When we finally get through the tunnel the bus goes on this crazy route
There's some problem at Port Authority too
I run up to the front of the bus and beg the driver to let me off
Thankfully he opens the door and
"Pshhhh,"
I am off the bus
But I'm on like 34th
Carnegie Hall is on 57th
I start to run
I've only got a few minutes
I sprint
As I hit Times Square it's packed with people
It's Sunday and there is a church service in Times Square
I'm running in the street cause I'm a New Yorker but they are everywhere
Singing songs
I shout,
"I LOVE JESUS TOO. GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!!!!"
The crowd does sort of part
I fly into the hall and hear the Cellos start
Most beautiful sound I ever heard

Danny Boy

I was at an Irish bar in Seattle
After the performer finishes and exits the stage
My best friend Eric leans in and says,
"Hey man, will you sing Danny Boy?"
I take a moment
I love that song
It feels like a perfect opportunity
Something out of a movie
The mic is still hot
I know this song so well and I'm in good voice
I take the stage
"Oh Danny boy the pipes the pipes are calling..."
They cut off the mic
Well, I don't need a mic
Kept singing
Then the bouncer came up
Told me to get off the stage
I was singing pretty
The bouncer was big but I had no doubt I could take him
There was a moment I thought,
Should I beat the shit out of this dude to finish Danny Boy?
I'd probably recently seen Good Fellas
But I just stepped off the stage and left
A free Danny Boy by Greg Stone
Their loss

Saxophone

They had this really cool bazaar with instruments laid out at grade school
Ridgecrest Elementary
There were all these shiny beautiful things out on the table
Plus a clarinet
We were allowed to pick them up and play with them
They were so cool
All bent and pretty
With buttons and knobs
I didn't have much luck with my first trials
Then I picked up a trombone
Think I made the loudest noise in the room
I ran home and told Mom, "I wanna play trombone."
She paused for a moment and said,
"No. You're going to play saxophone. We'll get you lessons."
You might think I miss the chance to play trombone
Nope
I loved the saxophone
Good call Mom

CHAMPS

At UW
1990
Pi Kapps had two basketball teams
1st team was good
Real good
I was on the second team
Justin, Ethan, Rosalind, Trevor and me
Rose was so good distributing the ball
Perfect point guard
Ethan was a really tall blonde power forward and Rose was Asian with wicked ball handling skills
Trevor, a Southpaw country kid from eastern Washington was our shooting guard
Man he could hit the outside shot
I loved this team
But Justin and Ethan were the stars
They were amazing
I was clumsy but at 6'1 and 21 I could play above the rim
My job was to rebound
Block a shot here or there
We weren't supposed to be good
But Justin
He was amazing
And Ethan too
It was a team
We played our parts
There was probably 40 teams in the tournament
We won it
UW intramural college championship
The whole damn thing
2nd string
Sometimes team work
Makes the dream work